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?Anonyous Post? Overbearing, intrusive, and entitled

by JAJ (follow)
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?Anonyous Post? Overbearing, intrusive, and entitled


My daughter is 2 years old now, and every since she has been born my parents have been very overbearing, intrusive, and entitled. Before she was born, my husband and I sent the grandparents to a class that teaches them how to be supportive grandparents and respect their adult children boundaries, that was a waste. For 2 years, my husband and I have been miserable dealing with our child's grandparents. We ask simple requests like please don't allow people to kiss or play with our child if they have the flu, please cut up the grapes or hotdogs before feeding it to our child, don't load her up with sugar because we deal with the tantrums at nighttime afterwards, don't allow her to sleep on the couch because she can fall off and hit her head on the coffee table and this list goes on. They feel they do not have to follow these rules at all and want to do whatever they want with our child. We have tried everything, talking to them calmly about it, giving them a time out from keeping our child, waking them up in the middle of the night on the phone so they can hear her tantrums, nothing works with them. I have reached a point of frustration where all I do is yell and curse because they don't respect what we say. They always say they forgot because they are old, we raised you and you turned out fine, you allow such and such to do it, or we did what we thought was right. When you confront them, they yell and talk over you so you can't even get a word in. They lack common sense and any type of understanding. They feel they are not doing anything wrong and that I have the problem. This is my first child and we went through so much trouble trying to conceive. I quit my career to stay at home and care for my own child and not depend on others. I looked forward to this bonding experience and being a hands on mom, but my parents have ruined this whole experience for me and I am angry and fed up. They guilt you into giving them another chance when you try to enforce boundaries. They say we are old and might die soon don't deprive us from this time, we did all of these good things for you as a child, you can't cut us off. They defame me to close friends and family and play victim, so the group can come down on me and make me feel guilty for my actions and change my mind. I always knew my upbringing was toxic and dysfunctional, but it's something I just dealt with. Now that I am a mother, I will not tolerate this disrespect or toxic behavior around my child. My child's health, safety, and education is important to me and I will advocate for her no matter what. The grandparents have caused mental issues and marital issues for me, because I feel stuck appeasing them. This time I want to put my foot down, tell them off, and stop them from keeping their grandchild without being supervised. The honor thy mother and father and respect your elders is no longer going to guilt me in this decision. I always wanted my child to have a relationship with her grandparents, but they are toxic and have turned me into being toxic dealing with them. Their behaviors and I how I handle them have been toxic all of my life, but it has excelled because I have a daughter now. Please give me advice on ways to handle them and please offer your opinions on this situation.

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